Top: Target V-Neck, Nanette Lepore Bow Jacket
Jeans: American Eagle
Pumps: Miss Sixty Rachel Pump
Necklaces: Simply Vera by Vera Wang, Target
Bracelet: Simply Vera by Vera Wang
One of the side effects of the unseasonably cool, damp days that we have been having here in Colorado are the allergies. Sneezy, sniffly, scratchy-eyed allergies. I've found that my Chanel eyeglasses are suddenly getting a lot more action than ever before, which is both a good thing and a bad thing. It is a good thing because I spent too much money to just have them sit like they do, collecting dust. It is a bad thing because I can't see out of them nearly as well as I can see out of my contacts, and oftentimes I will find myself missing steps while going down the stairs and bumping into random things while wearing them.
It also doesn't help that I am almost legally blind (you know the big "E" on the top of the eye chart? YEAH I CAN'T ACTUALLY SEE THAT, I'M JUST GUESSING THAT IT'S THERE) and have astigmatism, but only in one eyeball.
One of the lenses in my eyeglasses curves, the other does not. The difference isn't very noticeable while wearing contacts. When I have my glasses on, however, it's a different story- I suddenly find myself squinting and knocking into things. Or Husband finds me standing in the kitchen, swaying back and forth while looking all suspicious and shifty-eyed out of my right eyeball and going cross-eyed with the other while trying to figure out why the clock on the stove is illegible and slanted strangely towards me. Drinking too many glasses of wine before dinner? No darling readers, it's just astigmatism! Hallucinatory side effect of heavy drug use? Oh no, just good old astigmatism, at it again! Inhaled too much hairspray? Nope, just astigmat- well okay, you've got me there. Never mind.
But why drink and do drugs when you can just have a misshapen cornea and a pair of glasses you hate to wear? Seriously here, teenagers these days have it all wrong. Alllll wrong. Oh, what? What's that you say? Normal people don't have to crawl on the floor to get a glass of water from the kitchen? Huh. I don't know what you're talking about.
It also doesn't help that I am almost legally blind (you know the big "E" on the top of the eye chart? YEAH I CAN'T ACTUALLY SEE THAT, I'M JUST GUESSING THAT IT'S THERE) and have astigmatism, but only in one eyeball.
One of the lenses in my eyeglasses curves, the other does not. The difference isn't very noticeable while wearing contacts. When I have my glasses on, however, it's a different story- I suddenly find myself squinting and knocking into things. Or Husband finds me standing in the kitchen, swaying back and forth while looking all suspicious and shifty-eyed out of my right eyeball and going cross-eyed with the other while trying to figure out why the clock on the stove is illegible and slanted strangely towards me. Drinking too many glasses of wine before dinner? No darling readers, it's just astigmatism! Hallucinatory side effect of heavy drug use? Oh no, just good old astigmatism, at it again! Inhaled too much hairspray? Nope, just astigmat- well okay, you've got me there. Never mind.
But why drink and do drugs when you can just have a misshapen cornea and a pair of glasses you hate to wear? Seriously here, teenagers these days have it all wrong. Alllll wrong. Oh, what? What's that you say? Normal people don't have to crawl on the floor to get a glass of water from the kitchen? Huh. I don't know what you're talking about.
I am sure that I could get used to my eyeglasses if I wore them more often, but I refuse and so I just deal with it the best I can whenever my allergies do decide to attack and I can't seem to force my contacts into my crusty, bloodshot eyes. At least the interlocking Chanel "C's" on the side of my frames make me look sophisticated. Yes, I am sure that I look oh-so-very sophisticated while tumbling and tripping like a gomer.
Let's not ever forget, readers- I am a sophisticated tripping gomer with my glasses, and one that also occasionally yelps, "OH FFFFFFFART!" as she goes down.
I mean, for as much as I protest and complain over living in a house that is 98% carpet I am pretty sure that I am going to miss bouncing off of it once we replace it with hardwood floors. I don't think it is quite as easy to bounce off of a wood floor as it is carpet. Something tells me the days of Husband yelling, "TIMBER!!" as I fall down the stairs will be loooong gone; something also tells me that I will no longer be springing up after my fall to give a "TA DA!" with a small curtsy. I still might be able to get up and give a bow, sure- but probably with not nearly as much gusto as I could had carpeting caught my fall.
I simply don't think the bounce-a-bility of hardwood is the same as carpet, and this is something for us to perhaps take into consideration before moving ahead with our extensive home remodel. Make Chloe wear a helmet 24/7 and install slides instead of stairs? Noted.
So! Now that I've held you all hostage while discussing at length about how I'm really a 91-year old trapped into a 27-year old's body (did you ever have any doubt?) I have an announcement to make, ahem:
I have...A GIVEAWAY! It isn't anything huge, but it is something that I am really liking right now. Perhaps you could even say loving.
I am loving the Simply Vera for Vera Wang jewelery line at Kohl's, and I have five of these pretty flower bracelets:
Let's not ever forget, readers- I am a sophisticated tripping gomer with my glasses, and one that also occasionally yelps, "OH FFFFFFFART!" as she goes down.
I mean, for as much as I protest and complain over living in a house that is 98% carpet I am pretty sure that I am going to miss bouncing off of it once we replace it with hardwood floors. I don't think it is quite as easy to bounce off of a wood floor as it is carpet. Something tells me the days of Husband yelling, "TIMBER!!" as I fall down the stairs will be loooong gone; something also tells me that I will no longer be springing up after my fall to give a "TA DA!" with a small curtsy. I still might be able to get up and give a bow, sure- but probably with not nearly as much gusto as I could had carpeting caught my fall.
I simply don't think the bounce-a-bility of hardwood is the same as carpet, and this is something for us to perhaps take into consideration before moving ahead with our extensive home remodel. Make Chloe wear a helmet 24/7 and install slides instead of stairs? Noted.
So! Now that I've held you all hostage while discussing at length about how I'm really a 91-year old trapped into a 27-year old's body (did you ever have any doubt?) I have an announcement to make, ahem:
I have...A GIVEAWAY! It isn't anything huge, but it is something that I am really liking right now. Perhaps you could even say loving.
I am loving the Simply Vera for Vera Wang jewelery line at Kohl's, and I have five of these pretty flower bracelets:
to give away. Yup, five- so there will be five winners!
Entering is easy- simply leave your name, one (1) thing that you are loving right now (it can be anything- a fashion item, make-up item, TV show, pro-wrestler, Golden girl, alcoholic beverage- whatever!) and an email address so I can contact you in case you win.
You can also receive an additional entry by following me; and you can receive another additional entry if you link back to this contest on your blog. Just use the "trackback" link in my comments section to link this so I can keep track.
AND to make it even more interesting, one of the winners will be the "GRAND PRIZE" winner and get some extra crap I feel like giving away. It will be surprise extra crap, like maybe a pen that Petunia has chewed on! Or maybe even Petunia herself. Or maybe...maybe...even Petunia WITH A PEN!
I'm kidding. Kind of. I almost traded Petunia for a super cute little Chinese baby today SO DON'T MESS WITH ME. This close, Petunia. THISCLOSE.
Contest ends at 12:00pm MT on Friday, August 14th. Good luck my darlings!
Entering is easy- simply leave your name, one (1) thing that you are loving right now (it can be anything- a fashion item, make-up item, TV show, pro-wrestler, Golden girl, alcoholic beverage- whatever!) and an email address so I can contact you in case you win.
You can also receive an additional entry by following me; and you can receive another additional entry if you link back to this contest on your blog. Just use the "trackback" link in my comments section to link this so I can keep track.
AND to make it even more interesting, one of the winners will be the "GRAND PRIZE" winner and get some extra crap I feel like giving away. It will be surprise extra crap, like maybe a pen that Petunia has chewed on! Or maybe even Petunia herself. Or maybe...maybe...even Petunia WITH A PEN!
I'm kidding. Kind of. I almost traded Petunia for a super cute little Chinese baby today SO DON'T MESS WITH ME. This close, Petunia. THISCLOSE.
Contest ends at 12:00pm MT on Friday, August 14th. Good luck my darlings!
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