Sabotage!
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So I think that my New Years Resolution is going well so far. Wait- it is going well so far! I am being positive, see? My New Year's Resolution to be positive is super kick ass and I'm doing an awesome job of staying cheerful and upbeat.
But it seems like I have a co-worker who is trying to undermine my new personal policy to be positive. I had a feeling this might happen; misery does love company, after all. And this woman is always miserable.
I arrived at work early yesterday, bopping a bit with every step because I'm pretty sure bopping helps someone to be more blissful and blithe. Thinking happy thoughts, thinking happy thoughts.
My co-worker looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "Feeling better, I take it?" she asked.
"Why yes, yes I am." I said, puffing my chest out with pride.
"Good. 'Cuz I'm not." she said. She then proceeded to go off for about 5 minutes about everything that was wrong in her life, wrong at our job, and wrong in the world.
"Stop!" I finally interrupted her, waving my arms around. "Stopstopstop! My New Years Resolution is to be more positive! I don't want to hear this!"
"Oh." she said, pausing for a moment and blinking her eyes in thought. "Okay."
"So no more!" I said, shaking my finger at her. "I mean it. We are going to be positive now. We're in for a rough road here with everythi--"
"WHY?!! Because of the budget? It's because of the budget, isn't it. Are there more budget cuts?!" my co-worker interrupted, eyes wide in alarm.
"NO!" I said. "We're just in for a tough time with-"
"Are they laying people off?!" she cut in again, looking panicked.
"NO! I mean, uh, no. No one is losing their job, and I don't think there are any new budget cuts..." I said, trailing off and forgetting what I was originally trying to say. I could physically feel my blood pressure start to rise. I had to focus! "It's just that with the economy taking a turn for the worse, customers are going to be stressed and you know that they're going to take it out on us, and we really need to focus on, you know, being more positiv--"
"Listen," she said, interrupting me one last time, "I know you're trying to be positive and stuff, but M is really pissed off at D on Sunday mornings when they work together. And I just hate the way N rolls the towels."
.................................................
And this is how, dear readers, I found myself at home tonight after work flapping my arms at Husband and screeching, "She just WOULD NOT stop with the NEGATIVE crap! On and on and on! For the whole night! I JUST WANTED HER TO SHUT UP! I'm trying to be positive! I told her I was trying to be positive! I am just TRYING to be POSITIVE and NO ONE CARES!!!!!!!"
"And I can see that it's going very well for you." Husband said, hiding a slight smirk. That husband of mine and his sarcasm. He is such a comedian.
But I guess this means that I must take back what I said at the very beginning of this post: this being positive stuff is hard, very hard, and it isn't going well. It's almost like us humans are trained to be melancholy and miserable; we are bred to be gloomy and glum. Why is that? Is it our society? Is it our culture? Is it the fact that Brad left Jen for Angie?
I feel like it's an uphill battle right now. I keep repeating the mantra but people are refusing to hear it. They'd rather talk about the economy (crappy), current events (mostly crappy), or the weather (cold, and you guessed it: crappy).
Then I get pissed and off I go, ranting like a loony to Husband. Without even realizing it, I get sucked back into the cycle of bitching and moaning and abandoning my effort to be more sanguine. Man a-freaking-live, I should have just gone with the ubiquitous Weight Loss Resolution this year. It would have been much easier.
As Thomas Edison said, "I have not failed; I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." I will keep trying at this, darling readers. I am not giving up. I'm just not exactly sure how to tell co-worker to shut her goddamn face without coming off as it being wholly inappropriate (I am a manager, after all). She also makes really good chicken noodle soup for me when I am sick, and we simply cannot burn that bridge.
So in more positive news, I decided to finally buy the Frye Megan Buckle Flats:
It was time. I have been stalking them relentlessly on ShopBop (or as I keep accidentally typing: ShopBlop, which is a much cooler name in my humble little opinion) and the price finally dropped to $79. They had only a few sizes left so it was time to pull the trigger. I hope I like them as much in person! I am always needing cute and cozy flats since I can never seem to find any. Shannon also said some great things about them. Shannon, you'd better be right! :)
And then I bought the Large tumbled-leather Odile Bag from J. Crew in Coral Reef:
Because it is pretty and on sale and I seem to lack all forms of impulse control when it comes to shopping. Hooray.
This will be it for awhile. My shopping is going on an official 3-month hiatus. I have a camera to pay for, lenses to buy, and the Nanette Lepore Spring 2009 collection to look forward to (more on that later). I have a sleepy chihuahua on me and I'm getting sleepy myself. Goodnight!
And then I bought the Large tumbled-leather Odile Bag from J. Crew in Coral Reef:
This will be it for awhile. My shopping is going on an official 3-month hiatus. I have a camera to pay for, lenses to buy, and the Nanette Lepore Spring 2009 collection to look forward to (more on that later). I have a sleepy chihuahua on me and I'm getting sleepy myself. Goodnight!
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